Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. The best proof of love is trust. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. Very little is needed to make a happy life It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. Of cheerfulness, or a good temper - the more it is spent, the more of it remains. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. When love is not madness, it is not love. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
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